Positivity Anyone?

I'm a believer! In what you might ask? ... In positive thought and in creating your own outcome. All day yesterday I repeated to myself over and over again, literally every minute, in my head that I was strong and pain free and my body was healthy. Just like those positive affirmations people do in the mornings to convince themselves they will be productive lol. Anyways... not once did I ever let myself finish any thought that was negative. Everytime I started thinking "oh my gosh it hurts" or "I'm in so much pain" I would stop and think or say outloud "I'm strong, and healthy and pain free." I know it sounds like a much of mumbo-jumbo and most of you will think I'm loosing it, but thats okay, because for me, it worked! And afterall, isn't that what we're all trying to do, find something that works for us since nothing the doctors are doing is helping?

I'm happy to report that since last night, I have had NO pain. Not even a tiny little sting. I also slept so great last night. I didn't wake up once from pain. Today I have completely forgotten I was even on my period.


My foot zoner gave me some stuff called BBL (from butterflyexpressions.org, it contains black cohosh, blue cohosh, blue vervain, scullap and lobelia. No I dont know what they are, I'm just happy I can pronounce them!) and I've been taking a bunch of that also, it's supposed to help with pain caused by pelic and uterine problems. It tastes a little like molasses so I love it! I take a half droplet full when the pain starts and every few minutes after until it subsides and then throughout the day. This is the only thing I took yesterday that ever could be considered "acknowledging pain"... other than that, I never heated up my heating pad (Heating Pad, you're still my best friend though), took any pain pills, or did anything other than go about my day.

Today, on top of being in absolutely no pain, I am in an extremely good mood - and actually have been for the past several days which is VERY strange for this time of the month. Normally I get extremely emotional and irritable about a week before and all through my period.

If you haven't tried the positive thought concept, I think you'll find it to be worth it. I know it seems like crazy talk and most feel silly doing it, but I know that it has caused my pain free day today!

And it's about that time...

Yup, it's started. And instead of wollow in the pain, I've spent all night and morning repeating to myself "I am strong and healthy and pain free" ... it's helped me to go back to sleep the half dozen times the pain woke me up last night since I'm concentrating on those words instead of the pain. Normally I would have stayed home from work today, but I refuse to let Endo control my days. I am so sick of laying on the couch with my heating pad (btw way, heating pad I really truly love you!) watching re-runs and lame made-for-TV movies (I secretly love those too lol). So I'm at work, doing everything I can to stay busy so I don't concentrate on what my body is doing. I will stay positive, I will stay calm, and I will stay strong.

Acid - Not fun!

I'm not gonna lie. The past three weeks haven't been easy. I've been experience a weird acid like burning in my lower back and lower abdomen, especially on my left side. It hasn't been fun. I've missed a couple days of work and have felt a little defeated.

I went back to my Foot Zoner when I was at my moms two weekends ago. She said I was a mess. My pancreas is full of bacteria, including my entire abdomen. She was shocked I hadn't come down with a serious cold or flu with how much she was finding (ironic that the last three days I've been sneezing like crazy). Overall, I've lost alot of the swelling in my feat, which is wonderful and shows alot of improvement. There are just still those few areas that we haven't been able to get back on track yet. She recommended I go on an acid-free diet, which I've found to be nearly impossible (this includes NO strawberries, how sad is that!). I've also really reduced my dairy intake. No eggs, very little cheese, only an occassional yogurt and I never really drink milk. I've also started on a half-"arced" (<-- my attempt to not swear! lol) approach at an organic diet. It's just too expensive to go all out. I bought a few pears, a few kiwi, a few bananas and some organic ice cream (it's my one weakness, don't judge) and it was almost $40. I just about choked. So, we're buying what we can organic and just trying to go as healthy as budget-possible on everything else.

Other than the "acid burns" I've been getting inside my tummy, I've been feeling pretty good. My moods are really leveling - which my husband is extremely grateful for. I can still be pretty emotional some days, but my tendency to snap over silly things is become much less often. I'm still not sleeping really, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I married a gorrilla instead of a human... he takes up 99% of the bed and usually smacks me in the face a few times a night, when he's not shoving me off the bed with his elbows. =) We are hoping to get a King size bed soon, I think we'll both sleep alot better.

I'm a little scared about my upcoming period... my last one was pretty rough (spent 3 straight days on the couch with my heating pad and took the last of any non-natural pain meds I could find) and that was with my right ovary ovulating. This one will be my left ovary - which is by far worse than my right. It's only about a week away... wish me luck!

Find Susan Powell

Susan Powell is a West Valley City, Utah woman who has been missing since December 7, 2009. Please click on the following links to learn more about her story. Her family misses her, her little boys need her home.

Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=198478842187

Josh Powell was the last to see his wife alive, he is the key to this case. If you saw him during the time of Susans disappearance, please notify the police as to where he was and what he was doing.